“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell
Letting go of the past is never easy. Especially when it's not by your choice. When I came into my new life as a newling, it was unexpected and I was thrust into the arms of a family I knew nothing about. In time I grew to know and care for this new family and I'm very protective of them. I'd never known a feeling like this before as my family had long been gone. In time I felt accepted and loved.
My maker, Rickard, chose to turn me for whatever reason he kept to himself and he's chosen to leave me here. It's not my place to question him as he is my maker, but I wish he had taken the time to say goodbye. My only indication that something was wrong was the excruciating pain I felt in the center of my chest. It dropped me from the sky and had me crashing into the earth below me. I laid upon the earth broken and bloodied from my fall. I felt like something was being ripped from my being and all I could do was cry out in pain into the night.
Hours later the pain had finally subsided and my body healed leaving me with an emptiness I had never experienced. Wiping at the blood stains off my cheeks, I attempted to fly home only to find my wings and body too weak. I walked with my head hanging, back to the mansion.
I'd already figured out what had happened. My intuition had been prodding me for weeks. I'd brushed it away when Rick had returned from his last disappearance, hoping that it was wrong for once. I was clearly mistaken. With each passing day I felt our tie weaken. There was a darkness that was growing inside of him daily and he was changing from the Rickard we all loved and cared for. The reaper was consuming him slowly, breaking down the life inside of him that drew us in.
As I entered the mansion I could sense the change in the energy around it. It was dampened from it's normal vibrancy and there was a cloud of sadness so thick that it was overwhelming me. I fought with my empathic side to allow me to continue on. I had to be sure this was not some mistake, he couldn't have left his newborn child alone.
I continued reluctantly down the hall and paused a moment at the doorway to his room. My legs weakened beneath me and I had to grip the door jab to keep myself from crumbling to the floor. He was gone. His beloved swords were missing and the drawers were still open with clothing hanging from them and strewn across the floor. The blood tears started to leak from the corners of my eyes, my body shaking from the reality that he departed from his family. Cut his ties and abandoned his children.
Who was I to go to now? My brother? Is he to take over the life lessons I needed?
I pulled myself together long enough to make it to my room. I entered, closed the door, and lowered to the floor. I folded my body into lotus position and escaped from the harsh reality surrounding me. I calmed my breathing enough to relax my mind and leave my body behind. My spirit left my body in a rush and shot straight into the ether. I needed to heal, I needed my guide to help me get through this.
In the spiritual realm time ceases to exist. I have no idea how long I was away from my body, but I returned somewhat healed. Upon slipping back into my physical body, I still felt the emptiness heavy inside of me. I had no idea how to heal this pain still evident in my heart. The cure came to me after a moment. Donan. I quickly showered and changed and went to find my shifter.
I am his angel, fallen from above. Mourning dove I am no more.
Donan, he's been my shelter, my protector, my confidant, and my lover. He's all of these things and so much more. He knows just what I need and when I need it. I don't need to tell him, he senses it within me. He's so in tuned with my emotions it's scary at times.
He knew something was wrong when I came to him. I tried to put on a smile, but he quickly saw through it. Taking me into his arms he asked what was wrong. I tell him about my maker and he inquired about my next step.
"What will you do now, lover?"
"There's nothing I can do about him leaving, he's gone. All I can do now is move forward. Don't worry, I'm still here."
"What do you mean you're still here? You would have left?" he loomed above me with a slight frown on his face.
"I thought about it, but I would have taken you with me."
"Do I have to cage you? I'll do it."
I shake my head and mouth the words 'No'. He seems appeased with my answer and pulls my slight body against his.
That night, my Donan presented me with a ring he had picked out for me. On his knees he asked me to be HIS. I accepted immediately of course. We had an exchanging of energies, a melding of souls, and a blood bond created. He took a piece of me into him and locked it away for safe keeping. He loves knowing that without him I'd never be whole. And that's just how I love it as well.
With him taking a part of me into his being, I'd never felt so complete, so tied to someone before. I embrace the feelings I get from him and the love that is bouncing from one of us to the other.
He is my protector, my defender, my lover, my knight in shining armor, and my mate. I love him with all my heart and soul. Without him I'd be a shell of my former self. I hope I never know that pain.
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